Dutch Beast by Ink Circles

Volmaakt en Volbracht

2008-04-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

Fitting, that the tulips were in bloom.

The chart for Dutch Beast (which includes the extensive blathering on historical origins of motifs, explanations of these mutated motifs, references to obscurata, etc.) will make its sale debut at the Online Needlework Show, which starts April 16th. This is a "wholesale only" event, so stitchers who want to get this chart should hint loudly to their favorite LNS or ONS. Retail price will be $18. I'll make it available in the Ink Circles on-line shop on May 1. This delay is not to tease my customers, but is to keep our LNS in the action. I'm certain that Vikki Clayton will make a silk packet available with the colors of her silk I used, but I will also provide a DMC conversion with the chart. BTW, fabric is the absolutely lovely "Vintage Navy Bean" 40 count by Lakeside Linens.

This has been a joy to share with you. I thank everyone for their enthusiasm and wonderful comments. I don't think any of you will ever look at a Dutch Sampler quite the same way. Best of luck explaining the giggles.

Happy Stitching,
Tracy

Finally, The Original Sin

2008-04-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I have been postponing this entry because I don't want it to end, but my story has to end before you can begin making it yours.

Where does a story begin? Although cross stitch samplers don't date back to the beginning of the human race, some believe that human story began with this pair. Amazingly, the Bible, the Torah, and the Koran all agree on this point. Can you believe it? (Or, in official Cockney rhyming slang: Can you Adam and Eve it?)

From the time samplers did appear on the scene, this pair has been immortalized as a motif symbolizing good and evil. Criss Cross Row has an entire web page devoted to Adam and Eve Samplers - twenty one different designs at the time of writing this.

This particular one is by Samplar Works and features all of the key elements in their simplicity: a man, a woman, a snake, and an apple.

Eve was, of course, not the only woman to be totally hosed over by accepting a nice juicy apple. We all know how history repeats itself. I couldn't imagine trying to document the untold fates of various women who accepted one too many "Poison Apples" (1 part Absolut, 1 part Apple Liqueur). And you all recognize this hag, "Take it Dearie!"

I live in Washington state, over on the dry-side where we have acre upon acre of apple orchard, in many varieties that you have probably never heard of. The Washington Apple Commission has been trying for years to sue Disney for maligning our poor state fruit. In attempts to smooth relationships (or avoid Apple related lawsuits), Disney has put Steve Jobs on the Board of Directors. The Commission is now working on their case against the bible. For more apple lawsuits, read here.

So here she is, Snow White, along with the seven donut heads. By the way, this is an ongoing debate in the Netherlands as to the proper naming of the dwarves. Some factions strongly upholding the English monikers of Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dopey. Dutch Disney authorities have been promoting the translated names: Doc, Giegel, Grumpy, Dommel, Niezel, Bloosje, and Stoetel. (Perhaps Grumpy and Doc didn't translate well.)

I got to wondering whether dwarven donuts were similar to donettes (a registered trademark of the Hostess company), but I could get over the 6-to-a-package vs 7 dwarves incongruity. I was much relieved to find on the Hostess web site that donettes came in larger packages. So we can refer to these guys now as the seven donette-heads.

And something else I learned, quoting Hostess,"Hostess didn't create the world's first donut — credit goes to Dutch bakers perhaps hundreds of years earlier." That is our ever-present network of coincidences in action.

Four Virgins Too Many

2008-03-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Another biblical parable leads us to today's motif. You may have seen this parade of ladies and wondered what exactly was going on. Here are two versions found on antique samplers:

The ladies are always divided into two groups of 5 each, and there is usually some matronly figure in the middle. You will have to take my word that they are virginal - it's hard to represent that in cross stitch. It seems five of the gals never caught on to the importance of proper prior planning and have let their lamps go out. As the ten wait for the (singular) bridegroom to arrive to take them to the wedding, only the wise girls have brought along extra oil to keep their lamps burning (you can see the jerry cans beside them in the lower version). When the suitor finally ambles in after midnight, five of the girls had gone back into town to get more oil since the wise virgins refused to share. The bridegroom heads out with the girl scouts and the others are left out in the cold. I do not know what activities ensued between the unchaperoned suitor and his five wise virgins. (Everybody sing: Five girls for ev - ry boy.) I don't think that an embroidered depiction is appropriate. This is all supposed to be a parable for the Second Coming and you can read more about it in the wikipedia.

Besides the scores of painting and sculptures, this motif has been a popular one for samplers in many lands. Once again Julia Line of Long Dog Samplers has made an outstanding rendition of of a classic motif in her "Wise and Foolish" sampler (on the left). On the right is a Norwegian version by Lucy Lyons Willis with the foolish virgins sobbing into their hankies.

Rather than cross the bounds of good taste and show what troubles five foolish virgins could really get into, mock thier ample hips, or introduce the Energizer Bunny or AAA roadside assistance, I decided an animal stand in would be a good plan. If it were but two virgins (one wise/one foolish), I could have used cows to created by own rendition of this "pair of bull".

So, that is when I came back to my thinking of what else shows up on these samplers in great numbers.

If my sampler had been wider, I could have done Four and Twenty Blackbirds: Twelve Wise and Twelve Foolish.

This has been the penultimate installment of the Chronicles of the Dutch Beast. Check back for the Final (and Original) Sin.

How Do You Translate 'QWERTY' to Dutch?

2008-03-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

Given enough monkeys typing randomly on American-English typewriters , they would eventually reproduce the complete text of the Dutch Beast blog entries. In other countries, our familiar 26 letter alphabet might not be enough to do the trick. Most modern alphabets owe their root to the written script that originated in the Canaanite region in ~1800 BC. (Yes that is the same Canaan that brought us Joshua and Caleb.) As languages diverged and developed, letters were added and changed. One of the ways sampler historians date and place sampler is to look at the alphabets and take note of what they see... and what they don't see.

In doing the research for the alphabet motifs that I would use on this sampler, I wondered idly about the minimum number of letters ever seen on a sampler. This side track led to my Hawaiian Mandala Sampler, which celebrates those twelve little letters that the Hawaiian Monkeys would have on their keyboards.

Today we get the Beast's Tiny Alphabet that goes along with the Big Honkin' Initials. You probably weren't expecting a J, but you are also being deprived of your Q, V, X, Y, Z (at least initially). Hey, where did that V go?

For those of you that are readers, I must share with you this fun book I've read that called "Ella Minnow Pea: a progressively lipogrammatically epistolary fable." An isolated society worships the gent that penned the phrase about the quick brown fox. As the ceramic tiles bearing the letters in that phrase fall one-by-one, the government officially bans each letter from all usage. It's a nice fable about out-of-control totalitarianistic government and free speech, but also entertaining to decipher as the characters creatively try to communicate using fewer and fewer of our 26 letters.

You may have noticed that I snuck in this fountain motif below the alphabet. Fountains are not terribly common, but certainly they show up on many Dutch samplers, commonly with birds. Then again, the Dutch have sprinkled their birds liberally onto the samplers. Yet, I don't think I've seen a single cat on one. That must be what has led these birds to their false sense of security. I've slipped this short paragraph into the text here, hoping not to cause a big stir. You see, I am anxious to see whether the cat gets dinner or ends up taking a bath. Shhhhh...

The Airspeed of an Unladen Eagle

2008-02-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

Every school child is taught that Benjamin Franklin argued for the turkey to be the American national bird. Despite the eagle's less "noble" characteristics, it somehow beat out the competition. I haven't noticed the turkey prominent on antique samplers, but eagles abound. The Ben Franklins of the world must have saved their energies for other battles because the popular eagle pops its head in on the crests, flags, and coats of arms around the globe: from Nigeria to the Phillipines, from Mexico to Poland.

As with all creatures, as some point a mutation occurs. The eagle sprouts a second head, and contrary to logic, this dual-headed beast seems to thrive. This is not to be confused with the American Double-Eagle ($20 gold coin) which is quite rare, or the "double eagle" three strokes under par for a single golf hole, which is even rarer if you insist on witnesses. Earliest 2h eagle sightings were back in the 20th century BC with the Hittites, but the beast really took off with the rise of the Byzantines.

The two heads sometimes represented dual sovereignty, but many countries adopted this motif merely because, "It looked way cooler than that ordinary eagle," as one spokeman stated. The town of Berg en Terblijt in the Netherlands uses this fine black 2h eagle on their coat of arms.

Naturally, the 2h eagle motif shows up in many antique samplers such as Zeeland 1763 by Permin. Looking through my stash and WIP pile, I see it is also making many appearances on modern samplers that feature antique-style motifs such as Paradigm Lost (left) and Renaissance by Long Dog, etc.

Ripley's Museum boasts a 2h magpie. 2H snakes, turtles, and common farm animals abound. The BBC share this picture of a three-head/six legged frog (don't let him near your stitching!). There are mutant examples all over, but one must wonder why the 2h eagle rose to the level of respect and ubiquity it has, when the rest of the 2h menagerie is written off as freaks? National Geographic has a nice article written about the difficulties a typical 2h organism would face, particularly with feeding itself.

Hey 2h eagle has gotta eat, right? So if this is a video showing that a golden eagle CAN carry away a red fox, then why are these eagle stories all just Urban Legends? (Probably the part of the story about the husband cheering just out of range of the sobbing wife.)

"¡Yo quiero Chihuahua!".

And for those chihuahua lovers out there that might be offended, just add a few stitches in the tail area and say it is a cat... Unless you are also a cat lover. In which case you can improvise independently.

That's My Name and I Am Proud of It!

2008-02-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered if your name would translate into something really embarrassing in a foreign language? How about your initials spelling something that was a real *PITA*. The baby name guidance of today is quick to warn parents to check that little sweet pea's initials will be as pleasant as that new baby smell. But how were the Dutch of 200 years ago supposed to know *WTF* the acronyms in today's English venacular would be. *LOL*

Really stupid, really real discussions abound on baby naming forums for some prime examples of parental cruelty or ignorance. The silliest name I ever personally encountered was Mrs. Olive Green. She went to our church when I was small.

I wonder if the LL Bean monogramming department ever had to turn someone down? I can certainly envision a worker calling his coworkers over to share a good chuckle. I know the DMV certainly does screen their custom license plates. And remember this embarrassing NFL moment? Does the International English Honor Society think they totally escape ridicule by using their little greek letters? And with text messaging rampant among our teens, new acronyms are becoming popularized every minute.

Imagine finding a steamer trunk in your elderly neighbor's recently deceased great-aunt's attic. Inside is the most beautiful antique sampler you have ever seen. The trunk even has the documentation to help date it back to 1750 (I probably need a few more "greats" in the timeline to make it work). The only catch, her great aunt's great-great-grandmother that stitched it was named Anneke Saartje Smit. Oh yeah, they were from Friesland, in the northern Netherlands, home of the Big Honkin' Initials.

Well, fortunately, that is not the sampler of current discussion. (And anyway, traditionally the Dutch did not actually use middle names in that time period.) Sampler 1761 reproduction by Permin is the Queen of the Big Honkin' Dutch Initials. Another fine Friesian example. Now here is a wonderful success story of a trunk in Lilian's Aunt's Attic that has a much happier ending.

However, my Dutch sampler did need some initials. I rely on the tussenvoegsel to give me a third inital and enough material to hopefully stir up a giggle, but not too much more. Bestina's last name was "van Drachten." So, here we are so far (the size of the crop represents the finished size more or less - we ARE getting close):

Enough little donuts to keep a powder sugar mustache on Homer Simpson all week.

Would It Really Be Better on a Ritz?

2008-01-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

The pelican is the ancient symbol of sacrificial service, the mother bird ripping open her breast to feed blood to the little pelican chicks. Yeah, I do that all the time for MY kids. Our friends in Louisiana surely recognize this motif. It's on their flag, although it wasn't until 2006 that officials decided it wasnt gory enough and added the three drops of blood.

This is probably the easiest old sampler motif to identify, as it is very popular. Without knowing what you were looking at, you may or may not have been able to deduce what the birds were doing due to the cross stitch pixelation resolution. Now you know. Only one of the 8 species of pelicans is found in the Netherlands, but judging from the variation in pelican appearance on samplers you would think you could fill a zoo.

Renaissance by Long Dog
Permin Sampler 1749.
I could go on, but so could you. Consider it a scavenger hunt challenge for you sampler enthusiasts.

So what do pelicans actually eat?

Fish! Not exciting, actually, we all knew that.

Pigeons! See the video.

Puppies and Babies? NO we don't buy that one, but it was a good try.

Did they ever think to ask the pelican offspring? Did the Blood Commission run a series of pelican adverts.... "Blood, it's whats for dinner."

What would your little pelicans prefer? (I'm glad mine outgrew the happy meal phase very quickly.)

On the Dutch Beast, we shall be serving up a simple brown bag lunch. If the kids don't like it, they can trade with their table-mates.

Are We Not Men?

2008-01-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

After hours of eyestraining research I have come to the conclusion that the Dutch forefathers were actually the pioneers of the New Wave movement. After searching for a photo that best illustrates the diversity of traditional Dutch headgear, I found the East Yorkshire Motor Services Brass Band to be the perfect models (and entertaining if you look closely at the photo). You can see why the antique samplers have every hat shape conceivable - from cap-like affairs to top hats to modified fezes to ...

The energy dome - The ziggurat hat. Now who would have seen that coming 150 years ago! You already saw them on my little olympians, but were distracted by the Larry Fine hairdo. So go back and read the Races of Man post, this time looking carefully at all the hats.

Ah, and here we are now on the Dutch Beast, immortalizing (in an Ozymandias way at best) a 1980's icon. I only put two guys from the band on (you can pick which two - without their instruments they all kind of looked alike). So how many of you have had to explain the recent "Swiffer" commercial to your kids, who missed out that decade? 1980 is NOT dead. In case you wanted a stroll down that memory lane or didn't know yourself: Whip It Good.

In my googling, I came across the 1997 book by Ben Roughton "Ministry of Silly Hats". It has nothing to do with Devo hats or the Dutch, but I noted it was published by The Wine Press. So I leave you with this quote from one of my favorite movies:

A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

Beast Sighted Outside Betty Ford Clinic

2008-01-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

It has been a long, hard three months for the Dutch Beast. You can laugh, but you are partly to blame. We all saw the warning signs. Monkeys riding bicycles were not the least. For Pete's sake, it might has well been pink elephants. And Mr. Aren't We So Cool In Buffalo Plaid- you knew what he was carrying, but did anybody intervene? Did anybody say, "Hey Buddy, I think you have had enough." It was only after what happened to that poor Chihuahua that the media attention and, later, the authorities uncovered this...

(Oh, sorry - you haven't seen what happens to the Chihuahua yet)

The Mystic Moonshine Still:

Three months of intensive rehab and I think we can put this episode in our history behind us. And with a new set of resolutions for the new year, let's all hope that our beastly friend does not drop out of sight again. And thank goodness that this moonshine was not tainted with methanol, which could have resulted in blindness, which is very disabling for cross-stitchers!

As for the history of this motif, the frame is an arbitrary assemblage of my Dutch-looking geometric motifs. On the antique samplers occasionally the frame was to contain more arbitrary Dutch-looking geometric motifs, but sometimes similar devices were used to highlight certain spot motifs such as the "mystic winepress" motif. I'm not sure where the "mystic" part comes in, but the winepress is a old religious symbol. If Jesus was equated to the grapes, then his blood became the wine. If you read to much of that, it makes it difficult to enjoy a nice cabernet.

Above is a modern day winepress (picture used from Wikipedia, citing their creative commons license.) The winepress motif on the antique samplers looked similar - a box or barrel, with one or more handwheels for squeezing down the contents. Oh yeah, and a heart in the box, just in case you thought they were going to juice some grapes. A fine example can be see on the Josuah and Caleb sampler (all things grapes) by Gigi shown at the right. Like most of these motifs, if you know what you are looking for, you start seeing it all over. Ewww.

Some folks say that moonshine was its own religion. At least there, those seeking proof, find it (in excess of 100 proof).

Three for the Show

2007-10-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

Today's installment comes in three parts, owing to the need for a few smaller motifs between the bigger spots.

Antique Dutch samplers have been littered with little golden crowns, a tribute to revered nobility. Heart motifs are also popular, and frequently one finds a combination in a crowned heart motif, which is an emblem of great love. This fine example is from "And They Sinned" by the Examplar Dames. Now, the Irish might have something to say about the crowned heart being a "Dutch" symbol, seeing as how they have been using this symbol as a decoration of true love for centuries. (The town of Claddagh, for which the icon is known, is incontestibly located on the Irish coastline.) I've not seen hands on the Dutch version, though. Actually, I haven't seen many "hands" on Dutch sampler figures. Perhaps something to do with their laissez-faire attitude.

In my version, it is the spade that is crowned. To my knowledge, there is only one other instance of a crowned spade in the history of the Netherlands... and here she is. Scallawags Ace of Spades was crowned Bullterrier Bitch of the Year in 2002. Sadly she passed away in 2005, her owner saying, "We all say farewell to a big bitch with an even bigger heart". Notice how this loops back around to love and hearts.

For centuries farmers and homesteaders have used a yoke for carrying heavy loads. With a strong agricultural history, it is no wonder this is often represented as a motif on Dutch samplers. If you can't make out what my young "farmer" is toting, stay tuned for the next installment. I'm just sorry his buffalo plaid shirt didn't come out better in my photo.

And for the last of the three new spots, it's fairly obvious what the doggies are up to. This motif was inspired by an antique motif of two pups fighting over a bone. Although that would still have total relevance in the current day, I wanted to update it to show what dogs today can have for objects of possessive jealousy. Yes, these two are trying to share a brand new AKC Mallard Dog Toy, complete with Honker, on sale now for $8.99. Availability in the Netherlands has not been established, but I see versions of this in every grocery store here in the dog food aisle. I find the toy a little unsettlingly realistic, so I opted for the purple squeaky cow "Mad Cow". Don't worry the birds get revenge in a later motif.

Little Dirty Birdie's Feet

2007-09-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

After last week's realization that They Might Be Giants had a new album out, I of course had to go buy a copy. I also scored big with a used copy of their compilation album ($9 for 80 minutes of classic TMBG). But the real cost turned out to be getting a very silly song stuck in my head. My favorites ranged from songs about how underappreciated former President Polk is and the all-time classic "Instanbul (not Constantinople)", but my brain keeps humming "Oh the sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace..." Imagine it as if Bill Nye took up the accordion. Gotta love this band... or hate them. I imagine there aren't a lot of people in the middle of those two extremes.

It's an old maxim that birds of a feather flock together. While stitching this last week I completed two motifs with birds dissimilar in feather, but united in their birdie evilness. Once the "dirty birdie" phrase clicked into my head I thought I had a chance of displacing "We need it's heat; We need it's light..." But the Gopher Guts song hadn't a chance.

Now about these birds. The top scene was taken from the local vineyard. I swear that when I started stitching it there were three skinny little birds and lots of grapes. I turned my back for 2 minutes and BAM! No merlot this year. As for the lower scene, if you recall, Don Quixote's hat is actually a metal barbering bowl, so it should rinse clean without much after affect.

If the three little gray stitches (you know which ones I mean) offend you, you can leave them out, but I offer that the J Paul Getty Center thought bird poop was classy enough to use for a major ad campaign. Even the President isn't imune to this natural phenomenon. God, I love Google!

They Might Be Giants

2007-09-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

TMBG - more than just a great band! {Actually they ARE a personal favorite of mine from back in the late 80's. When I looked up the web link, it was cool to see they are still going strong.}

What can be more iconic of The Netherlands than the windmill. Around here, there are two distinct windmill styles: The rickety Old West (left) "Let's water the hogs" style and the modern "Let's make some serious electricity" version on the right. Click the photo on the right to see this wind farm about 60 miles from me - you will want to see it full screen. It is impressive, but not the stuff that samplers are made of. I decided to use the traditional Dutch sampler windmill shape (center more-or-less). And rather than "do" something evil to the windmill, I chose a more quixotic approach.

"Look over there, friend Sancho Panza, where more than thirty monstrous giants appear. I intend to do battle with them and take all their lives ...
As he spoke, he dug his spurs into his steed Rocinante, paying no attention to his squire's shouted warning that beyond all doubt they were windmills . . . Covering himself with his shield and putting his lance in the rest, he urged Rocinante forward at a full gallop and attacked the nearest windmill, thrusting his lance into the sail. But the wind turned it with such violence that it shivered his weapon in pieces, dragging the horse and his rider with it, and sent the knight rolling badly injured across the plain." -- Cervantes

And for Claire, who asked so sweetly to see how the whole thing was coming along...

About a third of the way done now. I'm really hoping to get the pace picked up now that the kids are back in school and a few competing projects are well in hand. I've also commited to capture some of these blogular ramblings in some form to be included in the chart pack.

The Real Thing

2007-08-12T18:35:00.001-07:00

Here we find at the lower left corner of the sampler a little family gathering. On an antique sampler, these ladies would have been sharing a cup of tea and discussing the price of tulips. On the topic of the price of tulips and 17th century Holland, I would most highly recommend the book by Gregory Maguire called Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister (as well as everything else he has written). It is an entirely fictional (if that isn't obvious) retelling of Cinderella from the stepsister's point of view, but most entertaining and does paint a colorful picture of the era.

Back to the tea party...I am totally into drinking tea, but by no means am a tea-totaller. Nor can I recall the last time my tea was dispensed from a teapot. Actually I'm exaggerating; I can recall - It was at the Oregon Tea House in Silverton where a group of stitcher's met in March for tea and sharing our stitching. FYI, I think the most wonderful black tea is Czar Nikolas II Premium Russian Tea. (I cheat a bit since this tea is loose leaf only, but I find the tea ball a nuisance and I already mentioned I didn't use a pot. I put spoonful of leaves in one of these strainer thingies and pour the boiling water on top. It's not quite cricket, but gets the job done.)

My family is lucky enough to still all eat meals together at the table. Since there are no men/boys, however, this must not be my family. These ladies appear to be sharing a Vegetarian Delight Extra Large Pie from Brick House Pizza. Notice that Grootmoeder Bea likes to eat hers "crust first". Now that is living on the edge! See the twee honden underneath the table, just waiting for a mushroom to roll onto the floor. And due solely to the power of suggestion, I can convince you that those 8 red stitches are a can of coke and the 8 green are the anti-cola.

I've learned that while pizza is a classic American thing, be wary of Dutch pizza. The Netherlands Board of Tourism paid for a group of American bloggers to eat their way through Amsterdam. Their comment regarding Dutch pizza " I hate to have to tell you, but pizza here is awful. No - not just awful...gawd awful." See the whole article.

Now, it is up to you to decide whether the motif placement is arbitrary or malicious. It looks like little Liza might be about to get the ol' geranium to the cranium. Glad I didn't think of that on purpose...or did I? Perhaps when the other motifs fill in, the effect won't be so morbid.

Nuts to You, Dog!

2007-07-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

Meet the Toaster, a fine canine specimen embodying all of those traits that define dogness. I showed Toaster a picture of the "Tree of Life" motif that decorates many samplers from many nations. He immediately became excited and needed to be let outside.

From the dog's perspective, the tree icon brings about strong mental images, for even the domesticated dog is a hunter and the tree is a rich hunting ground. In both the yard and in the samplers, we sometimes see the tree filled with birds, but when the dog shows up the birds take wing. However, if we fill the tree with chattering squirrels, the dog is endlessly amused. The squirrels are treed long enough to be captured in silk, along with the watching and barking hounds below. What more fitting way is there to portray the "Tree of Life, According to Dogs".

The white dog on the left is Toaster. The tan dog on the right is Gunnar, who belongs to Carrie (of Carrie's Threads) and who is equally squirrelly when it comes to squirrels. I fully expect stitchers to customize this motif to represtent their favorite pups.

In case you were wondering, here is how the overall project is going, this being the lower right quarter.

I should also point out that I do not condone violence against squirrels. I am very thankful that Toaster has yet to even come close to getting a paw on one of these. And it am terribly repelled by the notion that eating squirrel is considered normal in some places. (Haven't they heard of the Mad Squirrel version of Mad Cow disease?!?) Normal enough so that it has even made the folk music headlines. "Squirrel Heads in Gravy" is one of the classic fiddle tunes that our local mountain dulcimer group plays. You can download our sheet music for this song here (honestly!) Catchy little tune.

Now, I wouldn't consider my job complete if I didn't do a little research into possible Dutch implications and coincidences. Are you aware of the Squirrel Rescue Foundation of the Netherlands? It is apparently the only organization in the Netherlands of its kind, AND the only entity that can legally transport and care for the red squirrels there. Dutch squirrel populations are in decline and the government takes that very seriously. I am quite sure postal regulations would prevent me from sending a crateful of critters from my backyard over to Amsterdam, but at least these eight little silk Dutch squirrels will be preserved. (Actually, there are more than eight in the total design but the dogs haven't found them yet.)

Monkey Shines

2007-07-13T18:21:00.001-07:00

A small offering this week, but we need plenty of small motifs to fill in the nooks between larger spots.
What Dutch sampler could be complete without the spinning monkey? Although upon first viewing, many of you may not have known what that rather scary looking motif was. The one at right is from Permin's Dutch Beauty. I was enlightened on this whole monkey symbolism after reading a lovely historically-based article in the fall 2006 issue of Sampler and Antique Needlework Quarterly. It's a nice magazine with another stunningly ugly example of that monkey on the issue's cover (it looks like he is wearing a bright red pullover). The monkey typically represented mischief and lechery - the folly of man. In the motif, s/he is usually seated in a chair and hand-spinning flax or something from a distaff. Yes, that really is supposed to be a monkey! In the end, I had to add the ugly ears to my monkey to keep it from looking like a cat on the bicycle.

I am a knitter and a spinner and distinctly recall the conversation I overheard a few years back in a yarn shop that inspired my version of this motif. Two women were talking about this "great new spinning class" they were taking. How the instructor was such a cute guy (!) and how much they were learning. Without blatently eavesdropping, I tried to learn more, but it just wasn't making sense. It was this final confusing remark by one gal that left me with a deep sense of being led on and tricked. She mentioned that she wished the Court Club near her would get their own spinning class so she wouldn't have to cross town. Doh! Even in a yarn shop, "spinning" meant bicycles and not wool.

Perhaps a slight bit of an anachronysm here, as the bicycle wasn't invented until 1817, but it seems perfectly fitting to have a bicycle on a Dutch sampler. The Dutch lead the world (save for China) in bicycle use. I was simultaneously impressed by the Dutch and disgusted by my own country's statistics. I guess the speed skating can only get the Dutchmen from place to place during the winter months.

Needless to say little Monkey Shines liked the retro look and opted for the orange Schwinn with the mustache handlebars. She had them remove the sissy bar (it interfered with her tail) and had them upgrade her to a banana seat.... which she promptly ate.

I did also want to thank everyone who has left such nice comments here and on various forums. I'm glad you are all sharing in my fun, because it wouldn't actually be any fun without having someone with whom to share these jokes.

The Races of Man

2007-07-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Don't send the ransom money... I have escaped. It's taken a bit longer to get this latest update posted - I guess everything moves a bit slower in the summer heat. Or maybe it was because I foolishly chose color placement in this motif that had me changing thread colors every six stitches. Seriously, I have done entire samplers with fewer color changes! I am, nonetheless, happy with the results and would do it again.

One of the reasons for all the color changes was to ensure diversity. The name of this motif is "The Races of Man" but its not the kind of race you might assume. A classic motif in many samplers (shown above right) depicts the Ages of Man. The Dutch clearly had some secret fountain of youth going, as each of these steps represents a decade in a man's life and most samplers with this motif show 9 or 10 steps (although sometimes the 10th figure is horizontal or ~morbidly~ inside a casket).

Now, five of these little guys seemed plenty for my sampler, lest they completely overrun the bottom row and squeeze out much funnier visual puns.

So where else might we see several little dutch pesons in a pyramid formation? - At the 2006 Winter Olympics awards ceremony! Nine medals: All in Speed Skating. According to the wiki entry, the Dutch have won 75 of their 78 Olympic medals in the Speed Skating department (and the other three in figure skating.) Take note that my medalists are sporting the ubiquitous ringlets in shades of gold, silver, and bronze.

This speed skating trivia fact answers a looming question regarding Dutch samplers - Why are the people always wearing jodpuhrs (see the Mark and Dave motif for some classic Dutchman's Breeches action)? Answer - All Dutchmen are speed skaters and have thighs the size of tree trunks!

Now for that second question - why are they wearing those funny hats?

This is most easily seen using our bronze medalist above. Use your finger to cover up his little pointy hat - He looks just like Larry Fine. Eek. Quickly remove your finger to put his hat

back on.

PS. There is nothing funny about that flower pot.

Donut Heads of the Caribbean

2007-06-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

A quick survey of antique Dutch samplers will make it clear that Dutch stitchers were very fond of the little ringlet element (a backstitched circle with a square in it, all neatly fitting into a 3 by 3 stitch area). They used it to make very decorative alphabets by plastering a series of them on all sides the letters (the Friesian sampler stitchers raised this technique to a national art form). They used ringlets to make various geometric designs. Here is a lovely example of a Dutch sampler using ringlets in various ways. (BTW, this wonderful sampler is by Diane Jourdan of Sampler Cove and is available in this month's Gift of Stitching magazine - well worth subscribing to.)

The Dutch also used these little donuts as HEADS. Although donut-headed people are sometimes shown as farmers, windmill-tenders, and what not, the most common occupation for a donut-head was the sailer. I do not know why.

Every Dutch sampler needs at least one ship, so here she is, complete with seven donut-heads. During the design phase, I was unsure what tragedy was to befall my ship - iceberg? sandbar? capsized? pirates (try making a jolly roger that small! And eye-patches over what - the donut hole?) As you can see, my question was answered when one of the poor donut-heads fell overboard. Eyewitness reports vary as to whether the cause was too much rum or clumsy heroism as the mate attempted to get the doggy down from the rigging.

BTW, boys, your anchor has gotten aweigh.

The Beast Has Been Loosed

2007-06-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

Welcome to what I hope will become an entertaining stitching diversion. Many of you are familiar with the rich history of Dutch samplers and their many symbolic motifs. One of the more famous of these is by Permin and is called Dutch Beauty. The sampler I am creating aims to have a little fun with wordplay, imagery, and basic silliness, all drawing from the wonderful style and sensibility of the traditional Dutch samplers. It seemed only fitting to title this project the Dutch Beast.

Each of the main motifs in this sampler has been designed to look like an authentic Dutch motif until you look a bit closer or start thinking, "What on earth?" The jokes are sometimes subtle enough that only a sampler afficianado will pick up on them without a hint. I apologize to and offer thanks to the Dutch.

Official-like Notice: It will never be my intent to offend - I promise not to deliberately toy with any obvious Christian symbols (crosses, churches, etc) but please recognize that so many traditional symbols have some biblical basis or parallels that I would be left with but a windmill and a dog if I let those alone also.

Let me introduce the first motif "Mark and Dave" and explain how this all got started:

So many samplers have a motif for Joshua and Caleb, the grape bearers. They were sent into Canaan to see what bounties were there and bring them back. The motif shows the two men carrying back such a large bundle of grapes that it boggled the eyes.

I love this motif and have in my stash pile a lovely sampler designed by Gigi (in red above). I live in a big wine growing area (the mid-Columbia Valley in Washington state), so the motif seemed particularly appropriate. I was wondering, if Joshua and Caleb were sent in today what they would find.

My answer came soon when my husband read from the newspaper that fishermen were all in a frenzy to catch the world record walleye - right in this region. Scientists predicted based on records, that it would be a beauty. Our friends Mark and Dave took my husband and headed down for the river, hoping to land Walter.

Did you ever see a postcard like this? I saw one once with two guys carrying a trout that big. I couldn't find it now so you'll have to settle for the giant rabbit and your imagination.

Well, once my mind starts on something it has to play out its course. I started looking at other Dutch motifs and couldn't help myself. Tune in soon to see the next travesty.

BTW, major thanks to Vikki Clayton for feeding this beast silk, and Pat at Lakeside Linens for providing the playground.

Floss Toss - A Dutch Treat

2007-06-02T17:56:00.001-07:00

I received a lovely packet of linen on Friday from Pat at Lakeside Linens. The three big contenders for the project were Navy Bean, Maritime White, and Lentil - all in the Vintage variety. I love them all, but think the Vintage Navy Bean will be the one.

Now for some beautiful silks, hand-dyed by the one and only Vikki Clayton. You can see the first round draft picks in the photo.

The list includes (I tried for left to right order):

Umbrage 3471
Owl
Brown Ale
Haywains 4131
Haywains 4129
Pachyderm
Pewter
Ebony
Steel Wool
Half Verdigris
Pine
Rock Pile
Pecan
Brown Berry
Fish Pepper 4429
Rum Scullion 4337

Now, you may ask, what are we going to be making... You'll have to wait just a little longer to see.